04-29-2013, 11:18 AM
"No, haggis is just haggis." Calden gets a scoop of a nice potato salad, then sets his plate down to carve himself some roast beef. "Well, they're related to sheep and goats, but they're not. They're a little bit smaller, and they're only found in Scotland. I think they might have found some fossilized ancestors of haggii in France?" -- he glances at Keisha, as if to confirm. "But these days they're pretty much confined to the Scottish highlands."
He sets down the carving knife, sucks a dollop of sauce off his thumb, picks up his plate. When he looks at Sam, there's a distinct twinkle in his eye.
"The distinguishing feature," he deadpans, "is that the legs on one side of their body is always shorter than the legs on the other. Because they're evolutionarily adapted to running about on mountainsides, see. But that's also why they're dying out. Because the right-legged ones can only run with their left sides to the mountain, and vice versa. It makes it very hard for them to escape from predators, and it cuts down a haggis's chances of finding a mate by half."
He sets down the carving knife, sucks a dollop of sauce off his thumb, picks up his plate. When he looks at Sam, there's a distinct twinkle in his eye.
"The distinguishing feature," he deadpans, "is that the legs on one side of their body is always shorter than the legs on the other. Because they're evolutionarily adapted to running about on mountainsides, see. But that's also why they're dying out. Because the right-legged ones can only run with their left sides to the mountain, and vice versa. It makes it very hard for them to escape from predators, and it cuts down a haggis's chances of finding a mate by half."
BECAUSE OF LIGHT AND DUTY AND REASONS.