The eyes of the two Forgotten Questions Garou who have been seen so regularly turn toward the packs of Baklava Republik and the Desert Oracles, where both Erich and Keisha stand. And Keisha is already glancing at them when they look her way; it isn't a surprise that those sets of eyes meet. This was the moment that they had asked about—Erich more specifically but the spirit of the question was in Keisha's initial approaching of them as well, once Forge of Nótt and Hunter of Peace had been taken.
And that moment was here. When the Great Alpha says that it is up to them, the Theurge looks at her packmates but only for a moment. A brief sign that she is speaking up, so they are not caught unaware by it. Not that they should…not that anyone should be caught unaware by the fact that the hippy-dippy Child of Gaia who values life above all things would speak out on a matter of this level of importance.
And then she's stepping forward, taking the bone and holding it in her hand. "I'm Keisha Still-Waters, Desert Oracle and Theurge of the Children of Gaia." She looks down at the bone, and while it may surprise some…there's conflict in her face. A shadow that passes over her expression, like she's still going to decide what she's going to say. Surely she would speak out immediately with her naïve, misguided peace and love bullshit about how all life is sacred and they should give a chance, yes?
They forget something though. Keisha values life as sacred…this is true. The girl doesn't kill any form of life; she doesn't even eat meat, if you can believe that. But Keisha was also up there on the forty-third floor when the Guardians were lost to them. Only four people living on this earth can speak to what happened up there from personal experience, and none of them are the same; one is no longer even in the vicinity of Denver. The other three…this experience has formed a bond between them. One that they don't speak of, one that doesn't draw them together the way a pack bond does…in fact, probably the opposite, it drives them apart. Keisha hasn't spoken to Ingrid since that day, and only briefly to Thomas on occasion.
The point is, they haven't spoken about how that event scarred them all, and how they feel about it. They haven't spoken about the guilt that at least one of them, perhaps more do. They haven't spoken about the fact that, it could be argued, their horrific experience was because the elders of Cold Crescent didn't do their due diligence.
And when Keisha looks at the gathered Garou of the moot, make no mistake. There's anger. And there's betrayal, and even a desire for vengeance. These are natural feelings, and ones that anyone would feel. They are perhaps strong enough to make Keisha question her ideals and argue against the Elders who did this. And in that moment, even Keisha doesn't know; there is a wavering in her ideals, felt across the bond that she shares with her pack.
She begins, slowly. "The elders of Cold Crescent have done wrong. No one can argue that there were mistakes made. And those mistakes have been…" A pause there, as she shakes her head. Clenches her jaw. "Unbelievably costly. Information was withheld. Precautions were not taken. All of these things…these were disastrous. People suffered. People died."
She fights the lip that curls up, forces it back to evenness, and looks up to the Garou around them. So many of them higher ranking, with accomplishments far greater than hers. But she is the one who speaks, now.
"Do we honestly know that we would have done different? Or more to the point—" She stops, corrects, starts again. "Yes. Sorry, yes…we would have done different. Or I would have done different, at least. I can say that much. But does it matter what I would have done? We want to judge them for not doing what we would have done in the same situation, but who is to say that what we would have done would have changed anything?"
She looks here to Erich. "Erich…you argued that transparency is needed, when we were in Cold Crescent asking these things. And you're right. But do you honestly believe that our leaders can and should tell us everything? We're not a democracy, and I know people probably expect me to say that we should vote or some shit because of who I am, but the fact remains that I'm realistic. We have leaders for a reason. And those leaders have to make the difficult decisions of what to tell and what not to tell. Did they choose wrong? Yes…or at least, I think so. But how many times have they chosen right?"
"Does anyone here think that any of them held this information back because of any other possible reason than it was the right thing to do?" She looks around, her voice rising. Emotion is shaking here…there's conviction in that tremor as much as it was anger in her expression earlier. "If anyone thinks that Warning Threshold-rhya held back because he wanted any of this to happen, I would love to hear that argument. And if anyone honestly believes that Forge of Nótt-rhya remotely suspected that Champion of Honor would tear Cold Crescent apart like a fucking bomb of corruption and death, then speak up. Their mistakes weren't mistakes of weakness, but of making the wrong freaking call. And they were horrible mistakes, but we could have made mistakes that, if not the same, were just as bad."
She takes a moment, gets the tremor out of her tone. "For every mistake that has cost us, I wonder how many times they've made decisions that have saved Cold Crescent, or contributed to its welfare. Think of Hunter of Peace, Goddess's Silence-rhya, tending to the Sept. I've seen him perform his duties honorably. I've seen him tend to the Graves in Cold Crescent…think about how much he's already suffered, knowing how many were added."
"Think of Forge of Nótt-rhya, who many of you have learned Rites from, either the common ones of the ones that you would never even think to ask. Think about coming up to her and asking 'I need to know how to do a ritual that does this thing' and she just knew. Do we condemn her after all the good she's done for all of us, because there's been some bad, too?"
"I could go on," she continues. "We all have stories. Hell, I've been here a shorter amount of time than many of you, who grew up here. But I have stories I could tell of each of them. I'm no Galliard and I would sputter my way through some bad retellings, but I could. Warning Threshold-rhya, Retribution's Fist-rhya. Curved Sky-rhya. All of them."
One more pause here. "I'll be honest…there's a big part of even me that is saying that they need to be punished severely. That cries for blood and vengeance for those we've lost. Champion of Honor shouldn't have died a Cliath, his accomplishments struck down because of what happened. Nor any of the other Guardians. No one who's been lost should have been lost.
"But part of me can't help but feel that, if we do that, we're punishing them for deeds that were perpetrated by the Beloved Horror. They exploited a weakness in the Crescent elders, got Champion of Honor in under their nose. And…" She goes quiet there, but only for a moment before she continues. "…they exploited me to do the same."
"I atoned, and they didn't. Which again, I think that they did not because they were afraid of their misdeeds, but because they were trying to do the right thing. We've all made our mistakes, but that's the only one I really want to hear them answer for.
"To want justice? That's understandable. That's honorable, and that's wise. To want vengeance? That's not."
And with that, she hands the bone back to the Great Alpha, moves to join her packsisters. She's not any less angry than she was when she began. But she is resolute.
And that moment was here. When the Great Alpha says that it is up to them, the Theurge looks at her packmates but only for a moment. A brief sign that she is speaking up, so they are not caught unaware by it. Not that they should…not that anyone should be caught unaware by the fact that the hippy-dippy Child of Gaia who values life above all things would speak out on a matter of this level of importance.
And then she's stepping forward, taking the bone and holding it in her hand. "I'm Keisha Still-Waters, Desert Oracle and Theurge of the Children of Gaia." She looks down at the bone, and while it may surprise some…there's conflict in her face. A shadow that passes over her expression, like she's still going to decide what she's going to say. Surely she would speak out immediately with her naïve, misguided peace and love bullshit about how all life is sacred and they should give a chance, yes?
They forget something though. Keisha values life as sacred…this is true. The girl doesn't kill any form of life; she doesn't even eat meat, if you can believe that. But Keisha was also up there on the forty-third floor when the Guardians were lost to them. Only four people living on this earth can speak to what happened up there from personal experience, and none of them are the same; one is no longer even in the vicinity of Denver. The other three…this experience has formed a bond between them. One that they don't speak of, one that doesn't draw them together the way a pack bond does…in fact, probably the opposite, it drives them apart. Keisha hasn't spoken to Ingrid since that day, and only briefly to Thomas on occasion.
The point is, they haven't spoken about how that event scarred them all, and how they feel about it. They haven't spoken about the guilt that at least one of them, perhaps more do. They haven't spoken about the fact that, it could be argued, their horrific experience was because the elders of Cold Crescent didn't do their due diligence.
And when Keisha looks at the gathered Garou of the moot, make no mistake. There's anger. And there's betrayal, and even a desire for vengeance. These are natural feelings, and ones that anyone would feel. They are perhaps strong enough to make Keisha question her ideals and argue against the Elders who did this. And in that moment, even Keisha doesn't know; there is a wavering in her ideals, felt across the bond that she shares with her pack.
She begins, slowly. "The elders of Cold Crescent have done wrong. No one can argue that there were mistakes made. And those mistakes have been…" A pause there, as she shakes her head. Clenches her jaw. "Unbelievably costly. Information was withheld. Precautions were not taken. All of these things…these were disastrous. People suffered. People died."
She fights the lip that curls up, forces it back to evenness, and looks up to the Garou around them. So many of them higher ranking, with accomplishments far greater than hers. But she is the one who speaks, now.
"Do we honestly know that we would have done different? Or more to the point—" She stops, corrects, starts again. "Yes. Sorry, yes…we would have done different. Or I would have done different, at least. I can say that much. But does it matter what I would have done? We want to judge them for not doing what we would have done in the same situation, but who is to say that what we would have done would have changed anything?"
She looks here to Erich. "Erich…you argued that transparency is needed, when we were in Cold Crescent asking these things. And you're right. But do you honestly believe that our leaders can and should tell us everything? We're not a democracy, and I know people probably expect me to say that we should vote or some shit because of who I am, but the fact remains that I'm realistic. We have leaders for a reason. And those leaders have to make the difficult decisions of what to tell and what not to tell. Did they choose wrong? Yes…or at least, I think so. But how many times have they chosen right?"
"Does anyone here think that any of them held this information back because of any other possible reason than it was the right thing to do?" She looks around, her voice rising. Emotion is shaking here…there's conviction in that tremor as much as it was anger in her expression earlier. "If anyone thinks that Warning Threshold-rhya held back because he wanted any of this to happen, I would love to hear that argument. And if anyone honestly believes that Forge of Nótt-rhya remotely suspected that Champion of Honor would tear Cold Crescent apart like a fucking bomb of corruption and death, then speak up. Their mistakes weren't mistakes of weakness, but of making the wrong freaking call. And they were horrible mistakes, but we could have made mistakes that, if not the same, were just as bad."
She takes a moment, gets the tremor out of her tone. "For every mistake that has cost us, I wonder how many times they've made decisions that have saved Cold Crescent, or contributed to its welfare. Think of Hunter of Peace, Goddess's Silence-rhya, tending to the Sept. I've seen him perform his duties honorably. I've seen him tend to the Graves in Cold Crescent…think about how much he's already suffered, knowing how many were added."
"Think of Forge of Nótt-rhya, who many of you have learned Rites from, either the common ones of the ones that you would never even think to ask. Think about coming up to her and asking 'I need to know how to do a ritual that does this thing' and she just knew. Do we condemn her after all the good she's done for all of us, because there's been some bad, too?"
"I could go on," she continues. "We all have stories. Hell, I've been here a shorter amount of time than many of you, who grew up here. But I have stories I could tell of each of them. I'm no Galliard and I would sputter my way through some bad retellings, but I could. Warning Threshold-rhya, Retribution's Fist-rhya. Curved Sky-rhya. All of them."
One more pause here. "I'll be honest…there's a big part of even me that is saying that they need to be punished severely. That cries for blood and vengeance for those we've lost. Champion of Honor shouldn't have died a Cliath, his accomplishments struck down because of what happened. Nor any of the other Guardians. No one who's been lost should have been lost.
"But part of me can't help but feel that, if we do that, we're punishing them for deeds that were perpetrated by the Beloved Horror. They exploited a weakness in the Crescent elders, got Champion of Honor in under their nose. And…" She goes quiet there, but only for a moment before she continues. "…they exploited me to do the same."
"I atoned, and they didn't. Which again, I think that they did not because they were afraid of their misdeeds, but because they were trying to do the right thing. We've all made our mistakes, but that's the only one I really want to hear them answer for.
"To want justice? That's understandable. That's honorable, and that's wise. To want vengeance? That's not."
And with that, she hands the bone back to the Great Alpha, moves to join her packsisters. She's not any less angry than she was when she began. But she is resolute.
"The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules."
"Good men don't need rules. And today's not the day to find out why I have so many."
"Good men don't need rules. And today's not the day to find out why I have so many."