06-14-2014, 10:01 AM
6-08
I cant find a clock in here so Im sitting out on the balcony looking at your neighbors wall and waiting for yall to wake up. Sometimes I wish I could stop time so good things wouldnt have to end. Like last night. If I could have stayed in last night longer Id be pretty happy.
But then I think of how immense that is and how I cant even tell time without looking at a watch and its like maybe its a good thing I have to Be Present and Be Mindful and all that other new age crap. If now is all we have and I cant make now last longer I might as well just be now until something amazing happens.
OK I think youre awake bye.
---
6-10
I want to tell you about this time my dad got really sick. I havent told anyone else about this yet. They probably know what happened bc he said this sort of thing happens when the universe has to correct itself. Symmetry or something. Like the universe is sentient and gives a shit what were doing. After he stopped hallucinating and wasnt falling down and throwing up bc his eyes werent working like eyes are supposed to work he said it wasnt the universe itself but like the energy of collective disbelief. At the time I didnt know what the fuck he was talking about. I thought he was insane. I mean he might still have been insane but I know better now I guess.
It was right before my enlightenment, which is also right before he started moving us from city to city. We were staying at this house that belonged to his friend M. I think her family used to breed horses or something but there werent any horses on the land anymore bc her family was dead. So it was like this farmhouse in the middle of this big empty plot of land. We got there in December and M asked Dad to stay because their other friends Z and K (my dad was a K too but Im not calling my dad by a letter) were coming in from out of town too and it was this big deal. M asked my dad like five times why I couldnt just stay with my mom. He didnt want to send me to Tanzania is why I couldnt just stay with my mom.
This is going to make no sense. I keep trying in my head to make it make sense but it just doesnt. Like I remember M talking about Z and K coming in from out of town and it was a 100% sure thing that they were coming but theres an hour or so around nightfall I really cant remember. Everythings all fuzzy. I wasnt drinking or smoking or anything but its still like trying to remember what you did the night before during a righteous blackout. Just flashes that dont mean anything.
M was gone after that. I swear - one minute she and my dad were in the kitchen talking about Z and K and then the next she was gone. I thought my dad was gone too and I started freaking out. Like I had no idea what was going on. It kind of makes more sense now I guess? But I still dont know what happened. He was ou[ ]e and the only reason I figured out he was outside is I saw so[ ]ng moving through the window. Its a good thing the ground was all covered in snow or [ ] not seen him.
---
Your parents seem decent. I dont know them very well but you look happy in that picture with them. I like to think youre not the type of person who would smile in a picture if you werent happy.
Hand cramp bye.
---
6-13
ELIJAH IM SO EXCITED TO GO OUT TONIGHT
Alicia has devoted the rest of the page to a crayon picture of what appears to be a rave with a full moon where the disco ball ought to be.
I cant find a clock in here so Im sitting out on the balcony looking at your neighbors wall and waiting for yall to wake up. Sometimes I wish I could stop time so good things wouldnt have to end. Like last night. If I could have stayed in last night longer Id be pretty happy.
But then I think of how immense that is and how I cant even tell time without looking at a watch and its like maybe its a good thing I have to Be Present and Be Mindful and all that other new age crap. If now is all we have and I cant make now last longer I might as well just be now until something amazing happens.
OK I think youre awake bye.
---
6-10
I want to tell you about this time my dad got really sick. I havent told anyone else about this yet. They probably know what happened bc he said this sort of thing happens when the universe has to correct itself. Symmetry or something. Like the universe is sentient and gives a shit what were doing. After he stopped hallucinating and wasnt falling down and throwing up bc his eyes werent working like eyes are supposed to work he said it wasnt the universe itself but like the energy of collective disbelief. At the time I didnt know what the fuck he was talking about. I thought he was insane. I mean he might still have been insane but I know better now I guess.
It was right before my enlightenment, which is also right before he started moving us from city to city. We were staying at this house that belonged to his friend M. I think her family used to breed horses or something but there werent any horses on the land anymore bc her family was dead. So it was like this farmhouse in the middle of this big empty plot of land. We got there in December and M asked Dad to stay because their other friends Z and K (my dad was a K too but Im not calling my dad by a letter) were coming in from out of town too and it was this big deal. M asked my dad like five times why I couldnt just stay with my mom. He didnt want to send me to Tanzania is why I couldnt just stay with my mom.
This is going to make no sense. I keep trying in my head to make it make sense but it just doesnt. Like I remember M talking about Z and K coming in from out of town and it was a 100% sure thing that they were coming but theres an hour or so around nightfall I really cant remember. Everythings all fuzzy. I wasnt drinking or smoking or anything but its still like trying to remember what you did the night before during a righteous blackout. Just flashes that dont mean anything.
M was gone after that. I swear - one minute she and my dad were in the kitchen talking about Z and K and then the next she was gone. I thought my dad was gone too and I started freaking out. Like I had no idea what was going on. It kind of makes more sense now I guess? But I still dont know what happened. He was ou[ ]e and the only reason I figured out he was outside is I saw so[ ]ng moving through the window. Its a good thing the ground was all covered in snow or [ ] not seen him.
---
Your parents seem decent. I dont know them very well but you look happy in that picture with them. I like to think youre not the type of person who would smile in a picture if you werent happy.
Hand cramp bye.
---
6-13
ELIJAH IM SO EXCITED TO GO OUT TONIGHT
Alicia has devoted the rest of the page to a crayon picture of what appears to be a rave with a full moon where the disco ball ought to be.
Look. I have school. And RP. And all my other time is taken up by sheer, unreasoning panic. I don't have time for Reddit.
-- ixphaelaeon
-- ixphaelaeon