12-14-2014, 03:42 PM
Hey all. I wanted to take a moment and give my own thoughts on this new change. I feel it’s important to let you guys know where I’m coming from as one of the Admins who, obviously, is being affected by this change. I just wanted to be clear here starting off and say that I’m coming strictly from my own personal standpoint as a player and an admin and am not trying to speak for anyone else.
Part of that perspective is that I have had a little more time than most of you to digest the news. It wasn’t a lot more time; Errin emailed me on Monday night to give me the heads up on the changes. When I read the email, my initial reaction was basically "Oh, okay, so this decision has been made." It was frustrated at first because I felt like, similar to how Damon and Liz has said, there wasn’t a lot of notice given to me and I thus wouldn’t have a lot of time to wrap everything up. That reaction only lasted for a couple of seconds though, before I realized that the changes she was making made a lot of sense. I’ll explain what I mean by that by going into a little bit of detail as to where I’ve been coming from as an Admin lately.
To be honest, I have felt a little burned out for a while. And by a little, I mean a lot. Because I have had a lot going on in terms of my personal and work life (it’s a long story and doesn’t need relating here), I haven’t had the time I’ve wanted to devote to running Mage. I have suspected this has been at least moderately known on-site. Taking longer to get monthly XP done, the neglect shown to the ST rotation, my lesser involvement in scenes and such has made it clear I’m not the active person I used to be. This has led to some frustration with myself over the direction of my characters, who I didn’t feel I could fairly play a lot if I wasn’t at least running some stuff as an ST, and I think it may even have contributed to some tensions with certain people which I apologize for. Honestly I have wondered if this was just me or if it was going on with other Admins, because the games have been less active (and I may be wrong about that; this was just my wonderings). I feel like Mage has stayed a fairly active game not because of me, but in spite of me and because of the efforts of the players to keep their characters doing things with each other. That’s a testament to the players and I am inordinately proud of the player base for keeping it going and being patient with me about the storylines I currently have running.
That being said, I was personally having trouble letting go. It had nothing to do with immaturity or ego (at least, I don’t think so). It had to do with responsibility. Part of it was that I wasn’t sure if anyone would take up the system and as burnout begins, it has a tendency to push you into a defeatist attitude. It’s not that I didn’t think people were capable; we have some amazing players and I already know from experience that many of them are fantastic STs but I didn’t know if anyone wanted to make that move from player to admin or have the time to do so. In addition, there’s a sense of being afraid that you’re letting people down when you’re considering giving it up. It’s not a “But I want the power!” situation but rather the idea that others are depending on you to keep the ship steering straight, and it’s very easy to go into a mindset of “As long as I do enough ST scenes to give people a little storyline and do all the admin stuff, that’s adequate.” You guys deserve more than adequate for your STs. You deserve an ST who is engaged, and I am of the firm belief that term lengths will make that easier.
So when I saw the email from Errin and took a few minutes to digest it, I felt that the changes made a lot of sense. That being said, I did have a couple of concerns that I expressed to her in my reply. They were as follows:
1. I was concerned about her statement of "No razing of systems or their NPCs. Like any other transition, someone new will need to work WITH what's been previously established." I feel like the setting that Howl established and that I built on is very sustainable and can transfer to another ST without difficulty, so that wasn’t so much a concern. The NPCs was more of a concern of mine. I have three major NPCs in the system: Trent, Luke and Ellsworth. Luke I didn’t consider too possessive of, as Errin was the person who had interacted with him most closely and I didn’t feel as particular about him. Trent and Ellsworth were created and implemented as characters that I would be using in their respective storylines, then keeping in the setting as characters for PCs to interact with, get advice from and such. I half-jokingly refer to them as "PC-NPCs" and it would be weird for me to see anyone else play them.
2. The relatively short timeframe of notice meant that I have two storylines I need to wrap up; Alicia’s search for her father and Kalen & Grace’s investigation into the vampire club from a one-shot a while back. I didn’t realistically see a way I could resolve them by the end of the year and that short timeframe had me concerned.
In both of these situations when I presented the concerns to Errin, she was very reasonable in working with me and set my anxieties at ease. As it stands Trent, Luke and Ellsworth are likely to stick around as background-ish NPCs in the same capacity under my control (assuming they are still functional when my SLs are wrapped) and I have the time I need to wrap up the SLs so that the transition can be smooth. I have absolutely no doubt right now that the Mage switch will be pretty seamless for the PCs.
I think it’s good that we’re talking about this because I think there are probably a lot of questions that people have but haven’t necessarily expressed. This is a big change and it stands to reason that some of us would be concerned about what they mean. I agree that player activity and investment drive the games, which is how Mage has been going so strong even when I have been waylaid a bit at times and starting to burn out. But player activity is a constant than will go on whether STs rotate at the end of the year or not, and investment is built off of that activity. I think that if people have questions they should absolutely ask them and they can be answered; if anyone has any concerns about how Mage will transition I have been talking with Errin about that (and will continue to do so). It should be as seamless as it was when I took over for Howl, including the transfer of background storyline information so Errin can move ahead with what I had laid out or tweak as best fits her vision for the game. I am fully willing and happy to answer any of those questions to the best of my ability whether in the forums, in AIM or in email. I’m going to make a thread in the Mage OOC Forum to field questions about this transition. The importance here is to keep dialogue open and if we have questions, we should ask them. I have every faith that we’ll get answers that will ease our concerns.
That’s what I wanted to say about the big news itself. I have some thoughts about Damon’s suggestions as well that I wanted to express:
Fewer systems: If we get people volunteering to take up Vampire, I am honestly quite opposed to the idea of shutting it down. To put it frankly, shutting down Vampire and Changeling will not make activity in Mage and Werewolf pick up. It just won’t. I know that for my part, I get a very different kind of RP out of Vampire than I do out of Mage and Werewolf. I know that a lot of people who play Vampire feel the same. And there are some oWoD players out there who are interested in one system but not another; for example, if Wrath was played on this site and was one of the more popular games, I still wouldn’t play if it was one of the fewer options. We’re all experienced players and we know what we enjoy playing. Fewer options simply presents less RP.
Fewer rooms: Again, this one is purely personal perspective but I worry about an idea like this. As many who have played with me know, unless it’s a storyline-focused scene with clear goals and such I have a very difficult time handling scenes with more than four or five players. Even with the eighteen rooms we have, I have had several times where a scene has suddenly become very crowded and I have had to leave the scene. This problem would only get more stringent with less rooms as we end up combined into a consolidated number of scenes at a time.
New characters: For my part, I know that I like the characters that I have. I don’t look to make new characters necessarily; I get inspired by ideas for a character and then I make them if I have room to do so. If I were to suddenly drop Keisha, Javed, Alexis, Lena, Alyssa, Laurel, Kali and Summer (or frankly, any of them) and create a whole new batch just to have new characters, the new characters would feel forced and awkward to me. I don’t know that creating newer characters for the sake of new types is needed; we’re all mature and experienced roleplayers and we know how character creation works best for us.
(Note: this doesn't mean I won't drop a character or two and make new ones; I have been considering such in WtA and VtM for a little while. We'll see if it happens!)
More unpleasant, conflict-driven characters: I think we have a very good mix of nice and nasty currently. Vampire is a wide swath of character types, many of which are nefarious. Mage has some characters who are good, but I wouldn’t call “nice” or “conflict-avoiding.” By this I mean people like Adam, Alicia, Alyssa, Grace and Kalen. They all have friendships and can be perfectly pleasant from time to time but they also can be standoffish, distant, cold, argumentative and even have some feuds between them. I’m not saying they’re bad or mean necessarily, but they certainly can be and unpleasantness has hung in the air over more than one Mage scene because of player dynamics. Werewolf, I can say that there has been at times a fair amount of people who aren’t exactly “nice” so to speak, although that’s down a bit I think. Off the top of my head from my own perspective Charlotte and Javed don’t often see eye to eye or get along, several people have been dismissive of Keisha for the very good reason that she’s a pacifist, Ruby was by no means a ball of rainbows (I mean that in the most complimentary way Noel!), Hector and Javed used to get into it a lot and even Avery and Javed have had their share of conflict of sorts. So I agree that we shouldn’t have just nice PCs, but I don’t think that’s a huge issue at current.
That’s sort of how I feel on things. Mage is going to be in fine hands and I’m definitely going to make sure that you guys have no problems moving from myself to Errin, much as (I hope!) you didn’t moving from Howl to me. I’m actually looking forward to being able to get back to just being a player, and I may well jump on a system when it next becomes available. Or running a short-term pocket game, perhaps, but more likely the former. Anyway, there you have it.
Part of that perspective is that I have had a little more time than most of you to digest the news. It wasn’t a lot more time; Errin emailed me on Monday night to give me the heads up on the changes. When I read the email, my initial reaction was basically "Oh, okay, so this decision has been made." It was frustrated at first because I felt like, similar to how Damon and Liz has said, there wasn’t a lot of notice given to me and I thus wouldn’t have a lot of time to wrap everything up. That reaction only lasted for a couple of seconds though, before I realized that the changes she was making made a lot of sense. I’ll explain what I mean by that by going into a little bit of detail as to where I’ve been coming from as an Admin lately.
To be honest, I have felt a little burned out for a while. And by a little, I mean a lot. Because I have had a lot going on in terms of my personal and work life (it’s a long story and doesn’t need relating here), I haven’t had the time I’ve wanted to devote to running Mage. I have suspected this has been at least moderately known on-site. Taking longer to get monthly XP done, the neglect shown to the ST rotation, my lesser involvement in scenes and such has made it clear I’m not the active person I used to be. This has led to some frustration with myself over the direction of my characters, who I didn’t feel I could fairly play a lot if I wasn’t at least running some stuff as an ST, and I think it may even have contributed to some tensions with certain people which I apologize for. Honestly I have wondered if this was just me or if it was going on with other Admins, because the games have been less active (and I may be wrong about that; this was just my wonderings). I feel like Mage has stayed a fairly active game not because of me, but in spite of me and because of the efforts of the players to keep their characters doing things with each other. That’s a testament to the players and I am inordinately proud of the player base for keeping it going and being patient with me about the storylines I currently have running.
That being said, I was personally having trouble letting go. It had nothing to do with immaturity or ego (at least, I don’t think so). It had to do with responsibility. Part of it was that I wasn’t sure if anyone would take up the system and as burnout begins, it has a tendency to push you into a defeatist attitude. It’s not that I didn’t think people were capable; we have some amazing players and I already know from experience that many of them are fantastic STs but I didn’t know if anyone wanted to make that move from player to admin or have the time to do so. In addition, there’s a sense of being afraid that you’re letting people down when you’re considering giving it up. It’s not a “But I want the power!” situation but rather the idea that others are depending on you to keep the ship steering straight, and it’s very easy to go into a mindset of “As long as I do enough ST scenes to give people a little storyline and do all the admin stuff, that’s adequate.” You guys deserve more than adequate for your STs. You deserve an ST who is engaged, and I am of the firm belief that term lengths will make that easier.
So when I saw the email from Errin and took a few minutes to digest it, I felt that the changes made a lot of sense. That being said, I did have a couple of concerns that I expressed to her in my reply. They were as follows:
1. I was concerned about her statement of "No razing of systems or their NPCs. Like any other transition, someone new will need to work WITH what's been previously established." I feel like the setting that Howl established and that I built on is very sustainable and can transfer to another ST without difficulty, so that wasn’t so much a concern. The NPCs was more of a concern of mine. I have three major NPCs in the system: Trent, Luke and Ellsworth. Luke I didn’t consider too possessive of, as Errin was the person who had interacted with him most closely and I didn’t feel as particular about him. Trent and Ellsworth were created and implemented as characters that I would be using in their respective storylines, then keeping in the setting as characters for PCs to interact with, get advice from and such. I half-jokingly refer to them as "PC-NPCs" and it would be weird for me to see anyone else play them.
2. The relatively short timeframe of notice meant that I have two storylines I need to wrap up; Alicia’s search for her father and Kalen & Grace’s investigation into the vampire club from a one-shot a while back. I didn’t realistically see a way I could resolve them by the end of the year and that short timeframe had me concerned.
In both of these situations when I presented the concerns to Errin, she was very reasonable in working with me and set my anxieties at ease. As it stands Trent, Luke and Ellsworth are likely to stick around as background-ish NPCs in the same capacity under my control (assuming they are still functional when my SLs are wrapped) and I have the time I need to wrap up the SLs so that the transition can be smooth. I have absolutely no doubt right now that the Mage switch will be pretty seamless for the PCs.
I think it’s good that we’re talking about this because I think there are probably a lot of questions that people have but haven’t necessarily expressed. This is a big change and it stands to reason that some of us would be concerned about what they mean. I agree that player activity and investment drive the games, which is how Mage has been going so strong even when I have been waylaid a bit at times and starting to burn out. But player activity is a constant than will go on whether STs rotate at the end of the year or not, and investment is built off of that activity. I think that if people have questions they should absolutely ask them and they can be answered; if anyone has any concerns about how Mage will transition I have been talking with Errin about that (and will continue to do so). It should be as seamless as it was when I took over for Howl, including the transfer of background storyline information so Errin can move ahead with what I had laid out or tweak as best fits her vision for the game. I am fully willing and happy to answer any of those questions to the best of my ability whether in the forums, in AIM or in email. I’m going to make a thread in the Mage OOC Forum to field questions about this transition. The importance here is to keep dialogue open and if we have questions, we should ask them. I have every faith that we’ll get answers that will ease our concerns.
That’s what I wanted to say about the big news itself. I have some thoughts about Damon’s suggestions as well that I wanted to express:
Fewer systems: If we get people volunteering to take up Vampire, I am honestly quite opposed to the idea of shutting it down. To put it frankly, shutting down Vampire and Changeling will not make activity in Mage and Werewolf pick up. It just won’t. I know that for my part, I get a very different kind of RP out of Vampire than I do out of Mage and Werewolf. I know that a lot of people who play Vampire feel the same. And there are some oWoD players out there who are interested in one system but not another; for example, if Wrath was played on this site and was one of the more popular games, I still wouldn’t play if it was one of the fewer options. We’re all experienced players and we know what we enjoy playing. Fewer options simply presents less RP.
Fewer rooms: Again, this one is purely personal perspective but I worry about an idea like this. As many who have played with me know, unless it’s a storyline-focused scene with clear goals and such I have a very difficult time handling scenes with more than four or five players. Even with the eighteen rooms we have, I have had several times where a scene has suddenly become very crowded and I have had to leave the scene. This problem would only get more stringent with less rooms as we end up combined into a consolidated number of scenes at a time.
New characters: For my part, I know that I like the characters that I have. I don’t look to make new characters necessarily; I get inspired by ideas for a character and then I make them if I have room to do so. If I were to suddenly drop Keisha, Javed, Alexis, Lena, Alyssa, Laurel, Kali and Summer (or frankly, any of them) and create a whole new batch just to have new characters, the new characters would feel forced and awkward to me. I don’t know that creating newer characters for the sake of new types is needed; we’re all mature and experienced roleplayers and we know how character creation works best for us.
(Note: this doesn't mean I won't drop a character or two and make new ones; I have been considering such in WtA and VtM for a little while. We'll see if it happens!)
More unpleasant, conflict-driven characters: I think we have a very good mix of nice and nasty currently. Vampire is a wide swath of character types, many of which are nefarious. Mage has some characters who are good, but I wouldn’t call “nice” or “conflict-avoiding.” By this I mean people like Adam, Alicia, Alyssa, Grace and Kalen. They all have friendships and can be perfectly pleasant from time to time but they also can be standoffish, distant, cold, argumentative and even have some feuds between them. I’m not saying they’re bad or mean necessarily, but they certainly can be and unpleasantness has hung in the air over more than one Mage scene because of player dynamics. Werewolf, I can say that there has been at times a fair amount of people who aren’t exactly “nice” so to speak, although that’s down a bit I think. Off the top of my head from my own perspective Charlotte and Javed don’t often see eye to eye or get along, several people have been dismissive of Keisha for the very good reason that she’s a pacifist, Ruby was by no means a ball of rainbows (I mean that in the most complimentary way Noel!), Hector and Javed used to get into it a lot and even Avery and Javed have had their share of conflict of sorts. So I agree that we shouldn’t have just nice PCs, but I don’t think that’s a huge issue at current.
That’s sort of how I feel on things. Mage is going to be in fine hands and I’m definitely going to make sure that you guys have no problems moving from myself to Errin, much as (I hope!) you didn’t moving from Howl to me. I’m actually looking forward to being able to get back to just being a player, and I may well jump on a system when it next becomes available. Or running a short-term pocket game, perhaps, but more likely the former. Anyway, there you have it.
"The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules."
"Good men don't need rules. And today's not the day to find out why I have so many."
"Good men don't need rules. And today's not the day to find out why I have so many."