Leaving the Site
#1
Heart 
Hey everyone. By now you've probably all noticed that I've been pretty much MIA all month. As it happens, RL decided to kind of pull the rug out from under me. It's been... an intense few weeks. But I want to reassure everyone that I'm alright. It was pretty sketchy for a while there, and I definitely had some really bad days, but I'm coming out of it and things are getting better.

That said, I did come to a place where I realized that RP (and especially Admining/STing) is just not something I can make time for anymore (at least not in the immediate future.) In a practical sense, I have very little free time right now - and I'm mostly pretty tired when I do. On a more personal level, as much as I adore this game and especially all of the wonderful people who play here, I've let RP become this thing that's distracted me from dealing with difficult issues in my life. And I don't want to do that anymore. I hadn't intended on leaving at this particular juncture (especially not with where everything is at in the Mage game) but life apparently likes to laugh at my plans. I will be finishing out the month, at which point Liz will be temporarily taking over until she finds a more permanent Admin. In the meantime, Mage players are welcome to talk to her if they need anything and I'm not available (I know I haven't been as available as I should.)

I want to thank everyone for all of the wonderful scenes and stories I've gotten to write with you during my time here - both as an ST and as a player. This site has given me some of the best and most memorable RP moments that I've had. I will miss all of your flawed, fascinating, lovely characters. I will miss your great writing. Mostly, I will miss you - because you guys are amazing. And I hope to keep in touch even though I won't be around on the site, because I consider you guys real friends (not just people I play games with on the internet.)

(And hey, I'm sure I'll be back some day. I always come back around sooner or later.)

---

I am thinking now

of grief, and of getting past it;


I feel my boots

trying to leave the ground,

I feel my heart

pumping hard, I want


to think again of dangerous and noble things.

-Mary Oliver
I am so tired of waiting,
Aren't you,
For the world to become good
And beautiful and kind?
-Langston Hughes
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#2
Sorry to see you go, but wishing you the best of luck getting things back in order. 

That was me for much of last year (er, with enforced offlineness, due to lack of internet, but - same essential effect), and it was all to the good. Your writing and passion for world-building will be missed, but! I'm sure we'll catch up via text. And you're always welcome to drop in down in RI! (grin)

2016: I just bet it'll be pretty good, by the end!

Love,
Jess
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#3
It takes a lot (of wisdom, maturity, gumption, moxy, chutzpah) to recognize when something that you like is (at least for now) an impediment to taking care of yourself and doing what needs to be done to make your life what you want it to be.  You've been an amazing addition to this site since it began, and plenty of other sites too, and I know we'll feel your absence.

While I speak only for myself, I don't doubt others feel this way too: you-the-person is cared for far more than you-the-RPer/ST.  Many, many good wishes, and know that the door is and will remain wide and open.

[Image: River%2BSong%2BKiss.gif]
my whole life is thunder.
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#4
;_________________;

<3 <3 <3 <3

*Can't brain on no sleep, so you get text-based emotions*
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#5
As a RPer, I absolutely respect this choice and understand it only too well. Life doesn't typically stop to give us breathers and you should always, always do what you need to and put it above such things as characters and STing and the site. So I want to put that out there and say - bravo for taking the steps you need to for you and also to say thank you as a RPer for all your hard work with the Mage system.

You've helped create and tell some pretty wonderful stories here that you should be very proud of and I know I'm very grateful for it (and you!).

As a person, I'm very, very sad about you leaving and while I know we'll stay in touch, I'll miss you very much, but I hope everything works out for the best. You definitely deserve such good things.

<3
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#6
I totally support your decision, and also sorry that my coming back didn't sync up differently!

Also totally respect your willingness to do this.  For me, stepping away to focus on my personal life (not that school left me with much choice but eh) was a really good decision, and now that I am back I feel like RP and fun writing again adds to the good things in my life, instead of distracting me from the bad.  I wish the same for you.   Heart

Take care of yourself, and I think at the end of the year you will look back and be proud.
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#7
Aw, man. No gifs bc I'm on a tablet that I'm borrowing so I have to use my feelings words: thank you so much for putting up with me the last six-ish months or however long it's been since I came back. You are a wonderful person and deserve all the good things and I wish you the best of luck with your unplugging.
Look. I have school. And RP. And all my other time is taken up by sheer, unreasoning panic. I don't have time for Reddit.
-- ixphaelaeon
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#8
*hugs*

I hope there is a swift and steady path through whatever life has thrown your way. I'm sorry I will have missed you this time. You are a dear friend and our thoughts are with you.

*Syll

Also: M says hi.
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#9
I will very much miss you as both a player and an admin, and I am very, very sorry for all the upheaval in your life right know.  However, like everyone else I think it takes a lot of self-knowledge and awareness and courage to make the decision that you've made, and I hope that you end up in a much better place, very very soon. 

I definitely want you to stay in touch, and I very much look forward to the day you get to the point where RP is a net-positive for you and we see you back here. 

Thanks for everything (everything!) you've put into creative space we've shared here.
But my heart is wild and my bones are steel
And I could kill you with my bare hands if I was free.

- Phosphorescent, Song for Zula
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#10
Good luck out there, Howl. We'll be here when you want to come back.
BECAUSE OF LIGHT AND DUTY AND REASONS.
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