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Of the Moon [Arionna stuff]
#1
Dream Journal 11/15/14

In my dream, there was white. The light of the moon glistened off the snow as it covered the whole of the world, and I stood among it, a ghost of the land. I was clad in a dress of some fabric, and despite my bare limbs, I felt no cold. The flakes of the snow against my feet felt cool, and comforting.

As I began to walk, the ground shook and trembled. From beneath the snow, trees began to sprout, taking over the land around me. They climbed, some twisting, some moving straight, until their branches filled the sky. Leaves took to their limbs only to promptly die before me, though some dared to retain their bristles all year.

I felt a hunger inside of me. As though to signal it, crows filled the branches of the trees, following me as I moved steadily.

In time I came to a cabin. The snow began to fall in soft wisps, slowing taking over the tracks I left behind. There was no light in this cabin, though I smelt the scent of humans within. My feet took me up to the window, then around slowly as if pacing. A light flickered, and I could hear the hushed voices of those beyond the walls.

“Be still.” They said. “It will go away. We’re safe here.”

And so I did. They had nothing to give me. Still I walked, the wind building with each small step. I could feel the tendrils of my hair sliding out behind me, and my chin lifting to the sky as if praying for the world to give me more of it.

I don’t know how long I walked, only that the crows followed behind me, and soon enough I came to a village. As before, the lights remained dark behind the glass of each house, though I could hear the rustling of feet within and the scent of the small. I came to a stop, a hand pressing to the wall of the house as the small crack of the door was heard. Two small children slipped from the confines of their home, and with quiet cheers and giggles, escaped from the protection of the village.

My hunger only grew. And now my paws took me forward. In the snow, my tan fur must have stood out, and yet these children saw nothing until my weight landed. Only one. The sweet, copper taste of the flood filled my mouth and I knew a slow satisfaction was rising in my stomach; soon food would be present. The children screamed, though only one continued after my first bite into the neck, and only one ran. I took my captured prey, and I ran, cradling the child against my bosom. I had no fear, but I knew what would happen if I stayed.

The land also knew, and she felt great love for me, as the snow fell in heavier, windier drops, quickly concealing my escape. They would not find me. I was safe.
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#2
The drive home was touched with sound. Music would help her focus on the drive ahead; keep her mind clear enough for the task at hand. It would give her a moment of clarity before the storm hit.

It was the entering of her house that changed her mindset, that changed her from a singing young adult, to a quiet woman, scaling the stairs to her room. Her aunt heard her, certainly, but she didn’t bother Arionna; perhaps she knew.

The click of the lock signaled her desire for peace. The water pouring into her bathtub would ensure it. Arionna needed time to herself. She needed time away, and unfortunately, the woods were not so easily ventured anymore.


The steam filled the white room, the floral curtain pulled back, and the candles scattered throughout the room, ready to be lit. There were all sorts of colors and styles: Reds, greens, blues, and blacks. They were all for special occasions like this night, where she would choose the cool colors, and the black, the commune. There would be people who might consider it silly, but it had become a way of handling her own troubles, and a way of connecting with the spirit that guided her.

The warm water, and the soft bubbles, swished as she stepped in, a rectangular mirror in hand. The light of the candles flickered across her pale skin, making such a small creature seem larger and more frightening than she really was. Her back pressed against the ceramic, slowly sliding into the water until she felt only her neck and hands above. The mirror she set in the nook across from her, a place where she could speak, a place she could see, as if talking to a friend. A soft wet cloth was dabbed, and then wiped, along her face, first smearing and then removing the dark makeup, until only the pale, bare skin remained; without it all, she looked so normal.

“I know that you’re not pushing me. You know that I have to find my own way. You know, more than I do, the price of trying to exist among them. They’re not like you. Not like me. And I think now, that maybe we’re in the wrong time, the wrong place. It’s moving too fast for us to keep up. “ Arionna slid further down, letting the water cover her scalp, soaking the dark hair until it fell like oil along her skin. When she emerged, a soft hand wiping the water away, she sighed. “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

“You pushed me this far. But why exactly? Are you me in another life? Are you a spirit of the forest? A familiar of the three? Do you want me to be more like you? To isolate myself again? To pull away and watch it all, wait for a time when we can both return? “

“Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to nothing, even though I know you’re there. Am I you? A creature meant only to interact with others in the simplest, most basic sense? Are you trying to tell me, trying to show me, that no matter how hard I try, it will always end with me in the fire? That I should keep my distance?”

Her toe lifted out of the water to push just a little at the mirror, watching the lights dance along the contours of her face. “Is that what happened to mama? Did she leave because this place wasn’t meant for her?” Ari shifted her weight, stretching her arm along the edge of the bathtub and pressing her cheek to it. “Do you ever feel, like sometimes, you want to do one thing, but all you can do is something else? Something you know you shouldn’t do…but it feels safer? Stupid. Of course you do.”

Arionna closed her eyes for a moment, just a moment as she breathed in softly. “I’m just in the wrong place. Right?”


It was only for a moment. It was only for a very brief moment that she had closed her eyes. When she opened them, she rose out of the water, letting the excess drip from her hair as she wrung it out, before she pressed her foot onto the soft plush of the rug. The air chilled against the water, forming a shiver down her spine, and a shudder throughout her form. There was no escaping it all. Tomorrow would be like every other, and she would shut them out just as readily then as she did any other day. It was better that way, she had decided. Much better. Elijah was such obvious proof that it was best to keep in her own space, in her own bubble away from it all. There she could practice and learn in safety.

The handle of the door felt cold, colder than she knew it to be, even in the beginning of April. There was a fear that started inside of her. Something in this place didn’t feel right. Something…

Ari took in a deep breath and twisted the door open, feeling the cold breeze that filtered into the room, snuffing the candles out. The smell of winter touched her nose, and Ari already knew she was not at home. Her feet drove her forward slowly, pressing into the dry leaves and the dead sticks, each crunching under feet, audibly marking her passage.

Soon she felt no cold against her skin, but knew herself to be bare. The trees grew thicker, and the foliage began to sprout along the branches, the grass growing with the coming of spring. Between the woods to her side, she could see him, walking the same path as she. He was hard to see, with his tan hide and hunched walk, but she knew he was there, with her.

They walked in silence, a peace coming over her with each step. This place…this place was beautiful, quiet, serene. She could live here forever; Arionna wouldn’t need anyone then.

The sun slipped over the horizon, bathing the world in golden hues that illuminated the chlorophyll gathering in the leaves. Even the flowers were beginning to scent their air with their sex, telling the world that they were ready to begin anew. She was home.

The more she walked, the brighter the world became until everything became only a shadow amidst it all. Among them, the shapes of others formed, their voices carrying over the wind. She knew nothing of what they were saying, but their tone seemed elevated, encouraging. The voices were familiar, those she knew deeply, and yet even now she couldn’t name them. They were only familiar. Her attention moved to her companion, and saw that he too, had others calling for him to join. Together they had found someone, something, and she knew that he must feel as she did: happy.

Arionna pushed her weight on one foot and began to run forward, feeling the world give way under her feet. They grew closer and she knew that soon enough, she would reach them and she would know who they were.

It was the bite that stopped her.

She felt the snap at her food, the immediate sense of agony; she was falling, her face smacking into the leaves and grass with such force that she felt her breath leave her. The tears welled in her eyes as the pain radiated up her leg and into her entirety. She twisted, feeling the twigs dig into her palms.
The metal teeth dug into her ankle, her blood leaking out along the smooth surface and dropping along the grass. She let out a cry, knowing exactly what this meant. Across from her, he too knew the pain of the contraption and writhed in it, screaming as his throes only helped it dig in further.

Then the leaves gave way and it began to move, pulling them along the forest floor. If only she could scream louder…if only she could shake the world…
But no amount of screaming would tell those ahead of her that she needed help. No amount of writhing would show them that she couldn’t do it alone. And the more she struggled, the more it pulled, the teeth tugging in deeper, and the more it hurt.

She screamed. She screamed until she couldn’t feel her throat. She dug into the ground with her fingers, holding onto the world.



The candles were out when she jerked in the water, feeling the cold wash over her skin. How long had she slept for? How long had she been bathing in the dark room before finally pulling herself out of her own slumber?

Arionna pressed her head into the ceramic, breathing in deeply and letting the cold envelope her. She sat there, unmoving, for time that she could never really calculate. The water may have been cold, but there was something comforting about it. It was familiar. It might have been harsh, and unforgiving, but it was familiar.

It was there that she cried. Whatever she had managed to hold in during her time with Elijah, she let it out. The cold was harsh, and unforgiving, but it was familiar, and she knew it would be there when she needed something. It was hers. No one could take that from her.

So it was there that she let go.
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