12-30-2014, 02:01 PM
You guys know I hate "taking my ball and going home" posts as much as the next guy does and I'm actually not all that thrilled about posting this but given the state of things and how close I was with a number of you I want to stop any speculation that might be occurring as a result of only a few people having an idea of what my intention or state of mind is so I decided not to take a nap after my 3:00-11:45am shift to say some things.
Yes, I pulled all my characters and effectively left the site.
No, it is not 100% because of what went down a few weeks ago.
Yes, that shit left a weird taste in my mouth.
No, I don't think anyone sucks or want to never talk to or play with anyone ever again.
Yes, I volunteered to run Vampire between Errin's announcement and Errin's leaving.
No, I don't want to do that anymore because reasons that may elucidate themselves the more I ramble on.
I want to repeat something I said to Liz in an email earlier today because it's true and because it doesn't do anyone any good if everyone can't read it. That's kind of what prompted this dumb post.
Y'all should feel special. I am a notorious not-fan of Werewolf and yet I played a goddamn Galliard for almost a year. Used to be I had a reputation for not being able to keep a Garou alive six weeks. I ranked that motherfucker up to Fostern from Cliath and he had a baby and character growth and shit. That's what I did between June 2013 and June 2014 instead of playing video games.
And then I made a fucking apprentice and a fucking Kinfolk because I wanted to keep playing with you even though I didn't have time to rank up my Disciple and I didn't want to keep playing a werewolf. That's how much I like you assholes.
I like playing with you and I like talking about stupid shit with you and I like when we can sit down and pretend to be wizards or something for a few hours and everybody has a good time. But I'm bored and I've been bored for a while and that sucks because I don't know if it's because we've been doing the same thing the entire time I've been playing oWOD online or if it's because I've had the same "I'm fine it's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired" revelation that hits every single childless loser as they hurtle into their 30s or what.
It has nothing to do with anything anyone has done and it has nothing to with whatever secondhand "Jamie said this about that when she was pissed off/drunk/ranting/whatever" which might be floating around. I get pissed off and drunk and rant all the time. Just because something pisses me off doesn't mean I don't still like the person who pissed me off. If that was the case I'd have disowned my entire family a million years ago and probably cut off a slew of gastrointestinal problems at the pass.
The fact that I'm not sticking around doesn't mean I'm pissed off or think people suck. It just means I don't want to shit on people who are having fun. That's really what I want people to take out of this bullshit post.
Anyway I want to thank y'all for playing with me or playing in a scene I've run or taking a chance on a pocket game I wanted to run or whatever the last year and however long it's been. I'm not going to apologize for leaving because I'm not sorry. I'll still be around if anyone wants to try something not old World of Darkness and knowing my sorry ass I'll be back as soon as I've beaten all the backlogged video games I picked up during the last Steam sale but just in case I'm not yeah this was a post.
Okay end transmission.
Yes, I pulled all my characters and effectively left the site.
No, it is not 100% because of what went down a few weeks ago.
Yes, that shit left a weird taste in my mouth.
No, I don't think anyone sucks or want to never talk to or play with anyone ever again.
Yes, I volunteered to run Vampire between Errin's announcement and Errin's leaving.
No, I don't want to do that anymore because reasons that may elucidate themselves the more I ramble on.
I want to repeat something I said to Liz in an email earlier today because it's true and because it doesn't do anyone any good if everyone can't read it. That's kind of what prompted this dumb post.
Quote:[...] I've enjoyed the scenes I've played with the people with whom I played them and don't regret participating in the various sites I've participated in over the years [but] my heart is not in the old World of Darkness setting and it hasn't been since before Chicago shut down.
Y'all should feel special. I am a notorious not-fan of Werewolf and yet I played a goddamn Galliard for almost a year. Used to be I had a reputation for not being able to keep a Garou alive six weeks. I ranked that motherfucker up to Fostern from Cliath and he had a baby and character growth and shit. That's what I did between June 2013 and June 2014 instead of playing video games.
And then I made a fucking apprentice and a fucking Kinfolk because I wanted to keep playing with you even though I didn't have time to rank up my Disciple and I didn't want to keep playing a werewolf. That's how much I like you assholes.
I like playing with you and I like talking about stupid shit with you and I like when we can sit down and pretend to be wizards or something for a few hours and everybody has a good time. But I'm bored and I've been bored for a while and that sucks because I don't know if it's because we've been doing the same thing the entire time I've been playing oWOD online or if it's because I've had the same "I'm fine it's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired" revelation that hits every single childless loser as they hurtle into their 30s or what.
It has nothing to do with anything anyone has done and it has nothing to with whatever secondhand "Jamie said this about that when she was pissed off/drunk/ranting/whatever" which might be floating around. I get pissed off and drunk and rant all the time. Just because something pisses me off doesn't mean I don't still like the person who pissed me off. If that was the case I'd have disowned my entire family a million years ago and probably cut off a slew of gastrointestinal problems at the pass.
The fact that I'm not sticking around doesn't mean I'm pissed off or think people suck. It just means I don't want to shit on people who are having fun. That's really what I want people to take out of this bullshit post.
Anyway I want to thank y'all for playing with me or playing in a scene I've run or taking a chance on a pocket game I wanted to run or whatever the last year and however long it's been. I'm not going to apologize for leaving because I'm not sorry. I'll still be around if anyone wants to try something not old World of Darkness and knowing my sorry ass I'll be back as soon as I've beaten all the backlogged video games I picked up during the last Steam sale but just in case I'm not yeah this was a post.
Okay end transmission.
Look. I have school. And RP. And all my other time is taken up by sheer, unreasoning panic. I don't have time for Reddit.
-- ixphaelaeon
-- ixphaelaeon
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